Laurie's Life (Denver Style)

Swordfish and Beet Fries

2011-06-17T17:22:00.002-06:00

When buying fish, make sure it is wild caught and not farmed. This is of major importance for fish. They feed farmed fish the exact things we stay away from. Why ingest it through them? This recipe is from Living Paleo and is simple yet delicious.

Ingredients
2 medium beetroot, sliced into french fry shapes
2 swordfish steaks
Lime juice
Cracked pepper
Olive oil

Instructions
Pre-heat oven to 180 degrees celsius, fan-forced.
Line a baking tray with baking paper, spread beetroot chips evenly on the tray and coat with a few teaspoons of olive oil. Place in oven for 20-30 minutes or until cooked.
When the chips have finished, place swordﬁsh on a tray and poor some lime juice and cracked pepper over the top. Place in the oven for 10-15 minutes or until cooked.
Serve.

Crossfit Total

2009-08-21T10:38:00.002-06:00

Yesterday's WOD was Crossfit Total which goes like this:

CrossFit Total

Max load in 3 attempts of the following
Back Squat
Shoulder Press
Deadlift

Not sure why the writing came out wonky but...anyway

I don't normally do the Thursday workout but have been wanting to do this one. I am much better at the lifting than the endurance.

My weights:

BS: 135-155-175
SP: 55-75-80(f)
DL: 185-205-220(f)+220 for bragging rights

pretty proud of those numbers. Interested to see where I'll be in 3 months time with it.

"JT"

2009-08-21T08:45:00.001-06:00

Today was my first "hero" workout. Normally I'm a complainer. Just ask my trainer (I'm also apparently a poet and didn't know it). Anyway...

Today was not a workout for complaining. Yes it was hard. Yes it sucked. But I can do it. JT no longer can. I am grateful for his service to our country.

WOD

"JT"
21-15-9

Handstand Pushups

Ring Dips

Pushups

My time 20:23

Thanks JT

Monday's WOD = not fun

2009-08-21T08:43:00.002-06:00

___WOD___

800 M. Run

then

12-9-6-3 reps

Thrusters 115#/95#

Box Jump 24"/20"

KB Swings 24kg/12kg

then

800 M Run

My time was 28:53. I think. I have to go back to the box to write it down.

I did my thrusters at 55#, box jump 20" and KB swings 16kg

Aug 10-14

2009-08-17T10:00:00.002-06:00

Every time I'd go to write down my workout, Blogger would be down.

Here is last weeks list of torture. Today is supposed to be super fun but I'll write about that later.

Mon Aug 10 WOD

800m Row 30 power snatch 30 box jump 30 sit up 30 pull up 30 kettlebell swing 800m row

As my shoulder was injured I did:

800m row 30 power snatch 38lbs 30 box jump (15 red box 15 13 in box) 30 sit up 11 pull up (shoulder started screaming here) 20 20# goblet squats 800m row

My time: 25:12

Not the best start to the week

Wed Aug 12 WOD
Back Squat 5-5-5-5-5
Front Squat 3-3-3-3-3

Then:
Wallballs 1 min on 1 min off 3 rounds

How I did:

BS: 65-85-105-125-135
FS: 65-85-95-105-115

Wall balls I did 22-21-22 with a 10# ball

Hit a PR on both the front and back squats. Pretty pleased with those.

Fri Aug 14 WOD
1 pull up 5 dead lift 10 push up
2 pull up 5 dead lift 9 push up
3 pull up 5 dead lift 8 push up
...
10 pull up 5 dead lift 1 push up

Ok so this sucked much, much harder than I thought it would.

I used a green band for the first time on my pull ups. Surprised myself and got through round 5 with it. Round 6 I used black and then a supreme ache in my arms yielded me a double band which I hated and don't recommend other than it got me through.

I used 85 lbs for my deadlifts

Push ups were oddly a breeze.

My time? 20:36

Ugh

2009-08-04T11:45:00.002-06:00

I woke up on Monday with a pulled neck muscle which continued to get worse through the day. I did however hit the 7 am workout though I'm not sure it was the best idea I've ever had.

____WOD____

21 - 15 - 9

OHS (95/65)

K2E

Push Ups

My time? 14:23

This really sucked for me and really hurt. Even though I was supposed to work out today, I'm taking the day off (thankfully as it was a hero workout this morning). I'm also skipping Olympic Lifting tomorrow. I need this sucker to heal!

Did have a super fun day yesterday and went to the Stanley Hotel for their ghost tour. Great time.

Soccer Day

2009-08-02T17:09:00.001-06:00

I can't believe I actually worked out 5x this week! Plus Olympic Lifting class. I rock ;)

Anyhow, one of the tenants of Crossfit is to learn and play new sports. Today this was incorporated in our WOD.

____WOD____

4 Rounds

work in teams of two. One person dribbles the soccer ball through the cones, does 10 hang power cleans and dribbles back to their partner. The partner is doing as many air squats as possible.

Our warm-up was all soccer related as well. It was a fun day in the park.

Hand Stand Push-ups Suck

2009-07-31T10:00:00.002-06:00

Today's WOD

AMRAP in 15 mins

3 HSPU
7 kettlebell swings
200 m run

I missed hitting my 6th round on the run. Which sucked. This was totally not my thing. Used a 35# kettlebell and double green for the hspu's.

Not really happy with how I did. Happy that I went at all today. I am TIRED!

Tabata Something Else

2009-07-29T18:35:00.002-06:00

Today was a long gym day. I started out with the 6 am Olympic lifting class. It was tiring. Our normal instructor was out sick so we had our regular coach. He wasn't in the best of moods so we had to work HARD! I did manage to Push Jerk 105#s though so I was impressed with myself.

I didn't have a whole lot of energy after lifting so I decided to go home and come back for the noon class. Bad idea lol. I really was not happy to go back. I did anyway.

Here's what we did:

WOD
"Tabata Something Else"

20 sec on 10 off 16 mins total

pull-ups
push-ups
sit-ups
air squats

My numbers:

pull - 21
push - 43
sit - 54
squat - 77

Total pts - 195

This was a tough one and my first time with Tabata. I kind of liked it though. Next time I'll do better.

I hate running

2009-07-28T12:33:00.002-06:00

but that's why I need to keep at it right?

Today's WOD

Deadlift 5-4-3-3-3

Then

Run 400m 4 times with 2 min rest btwn runs.

My stats:

Deadlift
105# 115# 125# 145# 155#

Run:

1st 2:21
2nd 2:00
3rd 2:35
4th 2:30

I am really tired. Really, really tired. Why did I let them talk me into 5 workouts a week? It'll be worth it right? :)

Monday July 27th

2009-07-27T21:04:00.001-06:00

WOD

5 bench press
10 box jumps

5 rounds

I had 65lbs of weight (less than prescribed but I haven't benched yet so didn't have a clue). Did this WOD in 5:11. I was very impressed with myself. My knees hurt now ;)

Backlog Wed - Sat "Jackie" and more

2009-07-27T20:57:00.003-06:00

Wed. July 20th

Strength day
WOD
Back Squat 3-3-3-3-3
Front Squat 2-2-2-2-2
Overhead Squat 1-1-1-1-1

BS: 65 75 80 95 105
FS: 75 80 85 95 105
OHS: 65 75 85f 85 90

Friday July 22nd

"Jackie"

1000 m row
50 45# thrusters
30 pull ups

I did this in 20:58
used black on the pull ups

I sucked hard at this one

Sat. July 23rd

WOD
Nate's Sled Torture

This one really sucked

We worked in teams of three. The first person did 15 push presses with dumbbells then harnessed up in the sled. Our sled had a 45 lb weight on top of it's already heavy frame. That person ran to the second person who did the speed ladder 2x's through. Then person 2 harnessed up and ran to the final person who did 15 burpees and then ran the sled all the way back to the start and began again with the push press.

We did this for three rounds. Our team came in second. This workout sucked hard.

It's Monday. All day

2009-07-20T08:17:00.002-06:00

I had to ask myself if I was going mental waking up at 6:30 in the a.m. to go work out. I think we already know the answer to that. I did however skip Olympic lifting today. I just wasn't feeling it. ;)

Today's WOD:

4 rounds for time
100 single jump rope (25 double unders if you could)
20 wall balls
15 pull ups

My time 22:34

I will say that normally I can look at the board and know that whatever the workout is I will double this one girl's time. So today I fully expected to have a 40 min workout. I was pleased however, in all fairness, said girl does her pull ups with no band. I do them with black. I however am fat and out of shape. That's an excuse right?

Yesterday

2009-07-18T08:23:00.002-06:00

was my type of workout. Lifting. I know how much I need to work on my cardio, and I never do shy away from those workouts. I just really enjoy the lifting days.

Yesterday's WOD:

Shoulder Press 2-2-2-2-2
Push Press 5-5-5-5-5
Push Jerk 3-3-3-3-3

While I know that you are supposed to achieve failure it doesn't make it suck any less.

My weights:

SP: 65,70,70,75(f),75(f)
PP: 65, 70, 75(f) 70, 75
PJ: 65, 75, 80, 85, 90

I was really hating that 75. :) Not bad for being the end of week 3 of WODs though!

Today sucked

2009-07-15T10:31:00.002-06:00

Started today with Olympic lifting class at 6 am. Wasn't feeling it so much. Tired. For some unknown reason I decided to stay and do the WOD. Let me tell you, the WOD won.

4 rounds (I did 3) for time:

400 m row
30 Med Ball cleans
20 push ups

I actually cried in the middle. Which pissed me off more. Whatever. I finished my 3 rounds in a stellar (sarcasm noted) time of 29:30. I told you the WOD won!

I need a nap.

I'm Slow

2009-07-13T08:04:00.003-06:00

I'm learning this about myself but it doesn't make it any easier. I just have to be proud of what I'm doing and not worry about time. Or the fact that everyone is always sitting around done while I'm still working.

Today's workout was:

4 rounds
9 SDHP 55# (prescribed woman's weight)
15 sit-ups
21 air squats

My time: 10:05

Pretty pathetic. However I do know I could have done better had I not done the workout coming off of my 1 hour Olympic Lifting class just before. Those power snatches took it out of me.

On Saturday I learned how truly slow I am when we had to run. Our WOD was called "Griff" which is:

Run 800 m forward
Run 400 m backward
Run 800 m forward
Run 400 m backward

My time: 24 flat

I learned that running backwards sucks even more than running forward. Who knew? ;)

The point is I did it right?

New Journey

2009-07-12T10:39:00.003-06:00

I know I haven't been on this blog in a really long time but since I have started a new journey I thought it was a good place to log my thoughts.

My new journey is called Crossfit and I have just completed my second week of it. If you have no idea what Crossfit is check out www.crossfit.com

I had no idea my body could do so many of these things. But I feel good. And I need somewhere to record what I'm up to.

Welcome to my world, my new journey

F'ing Tom Morello

2008-04-21T21:53:00.002-06:00

I seriously took over an hour to pass him on medium.

Stupid Guitar Hero. My house is greatly suffering from it.

I'll look back on this someday when I am a rock legend and laugh. One of those really snooty laughs too.

Hmmmm,

2008-03-02T09:07:00.002-07:00

how sad is it that I haven't posted since Christmastime and seem to have forgotten that I even have this here little blog. Until Will reminded me. Thanks Will!

I would love to say that in the last two months that my life has somehow gotten interesting. Sadly that is not the case. Life has just gotten more hectic, though right now I have a tiny break as two of my kids are off of school right now.

Since Christmas, I've:

Gotten a job! I am now working at my kids school (I figured that if I am there as much as I am, I might as well get paid) as a lunch aid. It's three hours of on your feet, non stop fun. I really enjoy working with the kids and getting to know all 650 of them!

Gotten tired! It's hard to stay on your feet and run after kids for three hours a day on top of what I've already got going on at home. My dishes are suffering.

Lost 10 lbs! My kids did tell me that they hate it when I'm on WW because everything is lowfat. My kids are full of crap. They all had donuts yesterday, I didn't!

Have watched the entire 6 seasons of "The Wire" in a 2 week period! Oh how I miss Lem! And can't wait for the season to come back!

Booked a trip to Costa Rica! We're going in 3 months and are staying for two weeks. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it!

Have completed half of the schools yearbook. The other half is due in 15 days.

which reminds me, I'd better get to work on that.

So tell me, what have you all done since Christmas? Well the two of you who might still be around anyway?

Wow

2007-12-23T20:11:00.000-07:00

over a month since I've posted anything. Not that I ever had anything grand to post. These days it's just too busy.

My kids have been home for the whole month of December which makes life very hectic. I've hosted Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and now Christmas here which has been fun but crazy.

I really need a little break from the kids. The alcohol isn't cutting it anymore.

;0

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday season. I'm just really not in the mood. Can't even shop with all the rugrats home.

Oh and I have no hair left. Not as dramatic as Britney but I do feel like I could pass for a Marine. sigh. The effects of trichotillomania.

Merry Christmas ya'll!

100th post

2007-11-16T21:01:00.001-07:00

Yep, still have nothing to say. Still lame and posting at 9:01 pm on a Friday night.

I'm off to watch Airplane. I have low expectations in life.

Have a great weekend all.

Sweet

2007-11-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

I have people cleaning my house right now. It truly rocks. I can't even remember the last time I was this excited. I feel bad for them though. It's a big job. :)

Hope you all are well and looking forward to Thanksgiving next week.

What are you doing? I'm just having my parents over.

What are you thankful for? I'm thankful not to have to clean my house (I know, I'm shallow)

Wishing you a happy holiday season.

I feel bad

2007-09-20T14:53:00.000-06:00

for the many, many wonderful people out there that search for fetish related materials (mostly belly fetish) and come across this blog. Sure it makes me chuckle to think how pissed they must be but still. I feel bad. ;)

Going home

2007-09-18T07:52:00.000-06:00

Well,not really home anymore. Where I grew up. I feel pretty disconnected to it now. I'm going back next week though to help my parents move. I've got me a one way ticket to L.A. and will be driving back in a car (with my sister whom I haven't spent more than probably 30 mins with in the last 10 years) so that my mom doesn't fall asleep on the road and kill innocent people.

The nice thing is that for a few days I will be kidless. Since I've moved here this has become almost a non-happening. I will enjoy the quiet (esp on the plane although whenever I do get to fly alone I usually end up right next to a lady with a baby on her lap. I am flying on a jet though and there's only one seat on my side so "take that" lady with baby).

It will be odd to help them move out of my childhood home though. Not that it really looks like the shagtastic home of the 70's in which I grew up. But whatever. I do get to go hang out with my old friends and that's cool. Looking forward to some sushi and sake. Hopefully I'll be able to catch one of my niece or nephew's soccer games. That would be cool.

Now I'm just boring and rambling. But at least I posted right!?

Ha ha. Like you care ;)

Movies

2007-09-06T08:23:00.000-06:00

We saw Spiderman 3 for my birthday the other day. It was alright, for a musical. I still like Hairspray better. Oh well, maybe next time.

I'm wicked smaht

2007-08-30T08:44:00.000-06:00

Is it truly lame that I am so very excited that I managed to upload a podcast (Kevin Smith's smodcast) onto my daughter's nano? I've never even seen iTunes and was thrilled that the sucker just popped up when I plugged the thing in.

Laurie 1 Technology 0

Take that!

I'm a wild child

2007-08-20T06:40:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was my anniversary. My husband is out of town so I took the kids out for some Mexican food to celebrate. I got a margarita as a treat since I'd heard that they were really good at this place we went to.

After dinner we went to Target so I could try to replace the Air Hog plane of my son's that I lost. That was a no go but I of course got $49.59 worth of other crap. I was just proud it was under $50.

Came home, put my son to bed, told the girls to go to bed, thought I should go check out BB8 on the tivo right after I laid down for just a minute. Yep, I was asleep by 9:30 last night.

I'm such a party animal.

I should really stay away from downtown

2007-08-13T07:32:00.000-06:00

My in-laws are here this weekend and yesterday we decided to go downtown, check out the art museum and walk around the 16th Street Mall. We parked the car and went to catch one of the free mall shuttles to the restaurant we were headed to at the end of the mall. Our bus had to stop and we had to walk because someone was shot at the 7-11 on 16th (and I truly hope the clerk is still doing ok. He was shot in the head point-blank while apparently confronting a customer who had shoplifted earlier in the day)

The last time we went downtown was when my niece and nephew were in town. That was the day the guy was killed at the capital building.

I think I've learned my lesson. Never bring out of towners to the downtown area.

Other than that, my eldest child started middle school today. I am so excited to have all three kids in school (well at least for the next month until the younger ones "track off". Hopefully it'll be a good day ;)

This is what I was doing

2007-08-07T08:18:00.000-06:00

5 years ago today. :)

Happy, happy 5th birthday to my little man!

So...

2007-08-06T07:58:00.000-06:00

does it make me a bad parent that I want to take my 9 year old and 12 year old to see a concert where the band has some of the most sex-laced lyrics around? Granted the kids have no idea what they're saying but still?

My girls really want to go to one and Maroon 5 is coming here in Oct. I LOVE me some Maroon 5 and my girls know all their songs anyway. It's just a bit odd to me as they are some serious sexual songs. It's hard being a parent.

Oh well, it's either that or take them to the Projekt Revolution tour in Sept. At least that one I could say was for my birthday ;)

I swear

2007-08-03T07:56:00.000-06:00

if that Amber chick on BB8 doesn't get it together and not cry on one episode I'm going to have to reach through the t.v. and smack her upside her puffy-eyed face.

Everyone in that house is so annoying that it's amazing. It's sad when you're reduced to rooting for someone named "Evel Dick". Oh and wtf do they spell it evel?

Oh and note to my dog: If you ever shit on my living room carpet again, I will send you back to where you came from. The dog clink. It's not pretty. All around.

Have a fun Friday all

My serene place

2007-07-31T07:48:00.000-06:00

This is my new favorite spot in town. My kids love to fish here. Just sharing.

No, I'm not dead.

2007-07-31T07:42:00.000-06:00

Nor am I locked away in some looney bin. I'm just here, trucking through life.

Nothing interesting is going on with me (ok I know some of you will argue that nothing interesting ever goes on with me and to that I say "true dat".)

Maybe tomorrow I will have something wicked awesome (yes I said that) to share after I go to my first ever public storage auction! Maybe not but maybe!

Do people really gamble at online casinos

2007-07-23T08:07:00.000-06:00

that advertise in your spam folder? I don't claim to be the brightest bulb but dayum! How dumb do you have to be to fall for that one?

I must get like 48 of those a day. No joke.

So here was my weekend:

Friday night went to see Hairspray (fan-freaking-tastic) and had dinner after with a friend and our girls.

Saturday the angel of light came to my house and delivered Book 7.

The only thing productive I did around here is clean my daughter's room (I really should have done a before and after. It's an amazing transformation from trash heap to nice, livable room)

Oh and read Harry Potter.

I took the kids to the park for a Burger King picnic last night for putting up with my neglectful ass all weekend.

Hope you all had a good one too!

(BTW after I wrote the "my house is a sty" post I actually cleaned. My house has stayed amazingly clean since. Think my husband and oldest daughter can have anything to do with that?)

Anyone want to clean my house?

2007-07-19T09:33:00.001-06:00

My poor house is such a sty right now that it looks as if a pack of wild dingos lives here. It is seriously bringing me down and yet I really don't feel like dealing with it. I know. Poor pitiful me.

Last night my wrist was killing me. I have no idea. My thoughts floated to some sort of masturbation condition then I realized I'm not a guy. So, no idea (hmm, maybe it was from spray painting the desk I bought my oldest child?) but it hurt like a mother. So I took some Aleve. Let me just say that for reasons completely unknown to me (I feel as if I'm walking through life with my head up my ass reading this) it knocked me out. Cold.

Woke up this morning to see that my children happily consumed much ice cream in my absence. And they left every light and tv on. I've taught them so well.

That's all for me. Off to dream about having someone clean my house. I wouldn't even let a cleaning service do it at this point though. It's just too embarassing.

Thank goodness

2007-07-17T07:53:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we were going to go to downtown, check out Invesco field, walk the 16th street pedestrian mall, tour the capital and check out the Kwik-E-Mart. Luckily we had 5 hot a tired kids after walking all around Invesco. We drove past the mall which was a madhouse and we couldn't find parking. Decided to skip it. Came up to the capital building and the kids were full out fighting in the car. Decided to skip that.

Thank god or our tour could have looked like this:
http://www.denverpost.com/ci_6391301

I have never been so thankful for crabby kids.

We went and played at Cherry Creek State Park in the lake. Beautiful, calm, serene. And no crazy gunmen to boot!

Sleeping in

2007-07-16T08:04:00.000-06:00

First off, to any of you with 5 or more kids, you are now my American Idol. It has surprised me very much how tired I've been running every day with them. That being said...

I am blessed to have three children who sleep in (and a school start time of 9:05) If you are a similarly blessed parent you know how difficult it is when you have a friend sleep over who is an "early riser". Try doing that for eight days in a row. Then you'll understand my last blog post.

I wake up every morning early so that I can have some quiet time. A little "Laurie alone with her thoughts time" if you will. Not so much for the last week. Every time I tiptoe past my daughter's room in which my nephew is sleeping he pops up like a prairie dog. This was funny the first day, not so much the rest. Plus he likes to wake everyone else up for which I have threatened him with death if he does anymore.

Oh and as an aside...if you know that your friend is hosting two extra children for over a week and said friend already has three of her own, don't have your child (or children) call to ask to come over. I really don't need your extras. Thank you.

Happy Friday

2007-07-13T10:10:00.000-06:00

anyone want a cat?

If I wanted to be a pirate, I'd do Captain Jack and get on with it. My stupid cat thinks I am on and sits on my shoulder all day. Should have named the damn thing Parrot or Crackers or Polly. Douche

Can you tell I haven't been getting much sleep? yeah me too

Hope everyone has a wicked awesome weekend.

Yes, we're back

2007-07-12T08:00:00.000-06:00

It's just been extremely hard to get computer time with 5 kids who are always on it.

We had a boring drive, a very nasty thunderstorm, a long wait and then another very boring drive. All in all a great trip!

Now we've just been dragging the kids around showing them our great state! They have been having a wonderful time.

Two of my kids also started school yesterday so it's just been mad hectic in my house.

I will try to be a better blogger next week. Promise!

Outtie

2007-07-07T08:21:00.000-06:00

We are headed down to Albuquerque for the weekend to pick up my niece and nephew. I'd like to say that that's the sole reason we're going but really? My husband wants to gamble and I want to go to Trader Joe's. It's all about the priorities people.

I am very excited to have the kids though. My kids are thrilled that their cousins will be the first people we know outside of California that will have seen where we live. My nephew will love the fact that the street is full of boys his age. My son is just beyond excited that he'll get to play with his cousin "R" for over a week.

Now for that boring ass drive down there.

Wish us luck!

Have a great weekend everyone!

My Sprinkler's Got Talent

2007-07-05T09:22:00.001-06:00

I hope you all had a fun 4th. We had a very nice day which was made even more exciting by illegal fireworks from Kansas. Good times.

One of the sprinklers in the front of my house is busted. It shoots water straight up in the air and is going to cause a rather frightful water bill. I just got the part and was going to put it on today. However, the douchebag who turned my sprinklers on and repaired them apparently has no idea how to work a timer. They aren't supposed to go off on Thursday. Guess what? They did.

This is particularly bothersome to me, not for the water being wasted (which does irk me greatly) or for the fact that every neighbor we have has come by to tell us about it. No, the thing that bugs the living crap out of me every time they go off is that, without fail, the water stream hits my newspaper. While I hate having a soggy paper, that too is not what bothers me. What really gets to me is that it wakes me up. Ever. Damn. Time. And they go for 20 mins. At 5:30 am. And I'm really starting to get pissed about it.

Have a happy 5th everyone! Hope you got more sleep than me!

2007-07-04T08:52:00.000-06:00

Getting excited.....

2007-07-04T08:42:00.000-06:00

School starts one week from today for my youngest two. I am so excited. I just have to tell my daughter that her class has been switched (she's going to shit) and get my son over his "ionlywanttobewithmymommaalldayitis" and we'll be good to go.

Today we're chillin, having some friends over to test out our badass new grill and checking out some fireworks, both at home and in the air. Good times, good times.

Hope you all have a wonderful and safe 4th!

Talks to himself

2007-07-01T12:42:00.001-06:00

My husband and I took our kids and some extras to the dog park/lake yesterday. Even though my car said it was 105. It was hot but the kids had fun playing in the lake. My husband and I sat on the shore and were cooled off by the wet dogs running around that deemed it necessary to shake out on us. And my husband wonders why we smell.

Anywho, as we were sitting watching the dogs and kids, my husband decided to strike up a convo with himself. It went a little something like this (ok I helped a wee bit. But only a wee bit)

H- Look at those two dogs. Where are their owners?
Me- I dunno.
H- I wonder how they got here. It's kind of far from everything.
pause
H-I wonder which one of them drove?
Me- (staring blankly)
H-It was probably the white one
Pause
H- Why's it always got to be the white one?

yes he needs some form of counseling. Or perhaps his own blog. Nah, then I'd have nothing to write about.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

What color is my underwear?

2007-06-26T08:42:00.000-06:00

I have been watching way too much Spongebob. My son is addicted and it always seems to be in the back of my mind. We had DVR'd the Spongebob Movie and my son watched it like every day for 2 weeks. Do you have any idea how NOT sad I was when his little buddy who was over accidently deleted it? Hell I might have even danced.

Did you know that when you have the house that everyone wants to come hang out at your grocery bill will be astronomical? Seriously. It's not even the great quantities of milk and juice that I'm going through. I had to stop buying water bottles as well as I only like them for "grab and go" and I was finding them all over my damn house. Kids can eat some serious quantities of food. They also never seem to be able to drink from the same cup more than once. Can you tell I'm tired of having kids over?

I'm going to go prepare for my day. I have nothing planned. It's supposed to be hot. I'm burned out on summer already can ya tell? Thank goodness two of them go back in two weeks. Damn though, I have to go school supply shopping. Sigh.

Last day

2007-06-22T07:42:00.000-06:00

Today is the last day of school for my kiddos. My eldest gets out at 11 am (um, why send children to school for 2 hours?) and then I'm taking her and a couple of friends to see Evan Almighty. This is like a mini graduation party since they are moving on to middle school next year (my daughter couldn't care less about it though as she already went to middle school in California and said the kids at her school were very "rough")

My middle child gets out at the normal time. I also have to go in at noon and help out with her ice cream party (you know if the words ice cream and party come together I'm so there)

My middle and youngest children only have two weeks of vacation before school starts. Don't pity the child. They had the whole month of May off remember? I am super excited too as they changed our track assignment and we are now better meshed with my oldest daughter's traditional middle school calendar. My oldest has a full summer (um what the hell am I going to do with a 12 year old all summer?)

Oh and for those of you that think I sit around and watch tv all day, I don't. Yesterday I fixed my broken washing machine all by myself bitches! Damn skippy. I googled that shit, came up with an answer and fixed it. Gots to love them internets.

Well I hope you all have a wonderful weekend full of fun, booze and debauchery. See ya!

It's a no-go

2007-06-20T08:05:00.000-06:00

Well she turned the boy down. I am pretty happy about it but not so much happy about what I've been reading on her myspace.

Yes my 12 year old has one. The condition is that I have to be able to log in and read it at any time. And I do.

Last night I logged on to find out what was going on with the sitch. I will say that it pisses me off that my daughter hasn't talked to me about any of this. Come to find out that the boy only asked her out because a friend of hers told him to. This same friend also told my daughter to say no to the boy. Hello psycho 6th graders!

Then I come across a conversation with this same girl in which she gives my daughter shit saying she's probably told her "mommy" everything.

Let me tell you this. If my daughter stops talking to me about her life because some sick and twisted kid with a mom who doesn't give a shit is giving her grief, all bets are off. I will fuck with that kid and let her know what a twat I think she is.

I'll do it too. When some other girl messed with my daughter I sent all kinds of sappy cards to a boy she liked from her. She still doesn't know what happened.

Girls are bitches but sadly for these little ones, I've got many years of bitch ass experience on them. And I'm not afraid to use it.

Not ready for this

2007-06-18T22:28:00.000-06:00

Picture this:

12 year old daughter

myspace

boy in her class

will you go out with me?

OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm in hell.

Cash, Ass or Gas

2007-06-16T16:55:00.000-06:00

Why is it every time I fill up my god loving mom mobile, within 24 hours, but usually the same damn day, gas prices go down?

Is there a damn elf that sits in the gas pump and just waits for me to swipe my card signaling the decline of gas prices?

Oh yeah, and to all ya'll who filled up today? You're fucking welcome.

Post 70

2007-06-14T08:23:00.001-06:00

Here you have it.

I'm just not in the mood to blog right now. Not in the mood for much. Take care.

What to watch?

2007-06-11T08:06:00.000-06:00

This is the time of year I both love and hate. Love it because all the shows are over (though I'm not sure I'm loving the Sopranos from last night) and I have what pitiful bit of life I lead back. Hate it because there's nothing to watch.

Thank god for Rob and Big and Reunited: The Real World Las Vegas!

This week will be a bit crazy. Swim lessons, PTA board meeting, Field trip to the zoo, field trip to the park (this one pisses me off. The field trip is from 9:30 to 3:30. I was told I could bring my son and was asked to drive. I said I'd drive and chaparone. The teacher now emails me and tells me no siblings. WTF am I supposed to do with my son from 9:30 to 3:30?)

We were thinking about going to Missouri on our two week break to visit some people but that looks like it's falling apart. I'm trying to convince everyone to go to the Black Hills of South Dakota now. I'm the only enthusiastic participant in that one though so who knows? Maybe I'll just go alone.

Hope you all have a rockin week.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH

2007-06-07T08:18:00.000-06:00

Last night went very well. Food was good. No Slick, there's no dip left. Everyone had fun playing the Wii.

Last night went very well until my middle child got into a top cabinet to get a pencil. Getting said pencil knocked, unbeknownst to anyone, a bottle of fabric paint onto the floor. Said fabric paint fell right in front of two four year olds. These four year olds took the fabric paint into the bathroom where my son apparently proceeded to paint himself ALL OVER.

After the screaming subsided (this was more from having red fabric paint all over the living room carpet than from having a red boy) the boys told us that my son's friend had painted my son even though my son told him not to. Both boys copped to this same story. So riddle me this Batman...why did my son's friend have NOT ONE MOTHERHUMPING DROP OF PAINT ON HIM?

Friends left. Bath was given. Took over 30 mins and half a bottle of Bath and Body Works coconut body scrub to get all the paint off my child. Then it was bedtime.

Bedtime is the best time of day. It means that I now get to go to bed as well, if I choose. Last night I chose to stay up and watch t.v. with the hubby until midnight. Not too smart but not so bad as I don't have to wake up until 8 to take my girls to school. Not so bad unless my darling 9 year old, who has been a horrible pain in the ass to put to bed since school started back up, decides to wake me up at 2.

I go thorough an hour of "Mommy, I'm scared. The dog's barking at something." "Mommy, my throat feels tight. I can't breath" (to this I replied "then get a fucking drink of water" I'm such a good mom) "Mommy I think there's bad people in the house who might kill us (to this I told her "the only person in the house who's going to kill you will be me if you don't go to sleep") She finally settled down at the end of our bed and spent the next hour tossing and turning until she was in a ball at the bottom of my feel.

I am tired this morning. I think I got like negative sleep, my legs hurt from sleeping in a super tight fetal position, and I'm just pissed off because really I hate being woken up in the middle of the night. It's going to be a fun day.

Friends, Food and Fun

2007-06-06T07:56:00.000-06:00

While we were on vacation, some new friends of ours took care of our dog and cat (oh and fish). I got them a gift card as a thanks but tonight we are also having them over for dinner. Here's the menu:

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Hot-Artichoke-and-Spinach-Dip-II/Detail.aspx for starters
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Barbecue-Beef-Cups/Detail.aspx For the kids
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Burrito-Pie/Detail.aspx Main dish
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Avocado-and-Tomato-Salad/Detail.aspx for color and lightness
and
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Pecan-Pie-V/Detail.aspx Which is, hands down the best pecan pie I've ever had.

Of course today I have to work field day for both girls and take the boy to swim lessons. Not really sure when I'm making everything. The dip is done so maybe I'll just load them up on booze and dip when they get here and cook and talk at the same time? It's a thought.

Nothing really going on here. Just winding down the school year here to immediately get ready for the next one (track system is weird). I'm off to start my day. Wish me luck. Hope you all have a wonderful day too.

I can spell!

2007-06-04T08:23:00.000-06:00

W -icked was WONDERFUL! My kids loved it too!
E -ver take 5 kids to the lake? We did. Had a blast.
E -nd of the year countdown begins.
K -ids go back to school today for the last three weeks.
E -ver notice how fast time flys when you're really having fun?
N -ala? Chloe? What should we name our brand new baby kitten?
D -on't ever do a stupid blogpost like this!

Random Goodness

2007-06-01T10:14:00.000-06:00

I love the fact that my oldest child has taken it upon herself to do the dishes and clean the kitchen every night. This inevitably means I can drink my coffee without the self-imposed torture. However, how on Earth does she use so much dish soap? In three nights of doing this she's managed to use 2/3rds of the bottle. WTF?

My favorite show is back on t.v. I am beyond thrilled. Yes I know that at 32 I am way too old to watch MTV. But I don't care. My favorite show can be found here. They say you are supposed to laugh 15 times a day. I do that just watching this show (or Scrubs)

My oldest child was found this morning sleeping in her closet. Some of you might remember back in March I bought her a new bed. What gives with this child? The closet? My husband had a fun time singing "Trapped" by R. Kelly this am though.

This is perhaps one of the most interesting videos I've seen in a long time. I've been guilty of indulging in some of it. What's your take? Obesity Video

Have a great weekend everyone!

O.M.G.

2007-05-31T09:17:00.000-06:00

I did my dishwasher duty this morning (I failed though. There was too much in the dishwasher to fit all of the dinner dishes in as well. Sigh) When the whole thing was fully loaded I put the dish soap in and started it. About a minute later I hear the silverware rattling. I went between happiness at the prospect of getting a new dishwasher and sadness knowing this would take many hours of internet research (nothing is easy at my house)

The rattling didn't stop so I opened the dishwasher to see what was going on (I'm all kinds of mechanical)

I almost peed myself. The rattling sound was made by my CAT who had jumped in at some point. My nicely wet cat jumped over the side and proceeded to lick himself while giving me the death look. I however was laughing too hard to care.

To think I was worried about a coyote getting him this morning (big article in the Denver Post). He's worse off in the home. LOL

I'm such a good pet owner.

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-28T09:31:00.001-06:00

Saturday I was reminded at the last minute that I needed to get a Bratz doll for a birthday party my daughter was going to. We had been looking for a Wii (we are lazy and would not wait hours in line for one though) since they came out and I had read on a forum that Walmart was supposedly going to have some that day.

Off to Wallyworld!

Go in and get all the stuff I need then go check out electronics. Damn. No Wii's in the case. Oh well, it was a long shot. Then I hear a heavenly voice over the intercom: "If you are still looking for a Wii, come on over to Customer Care." I was standing right next to customer care! I pivoted and the lovely blond lady said, "Would you like a Wii today?" Um hell ya I would!

They had 7 in stock when I got to the counter. When I finished paying there were none left.

Moral of the story? If you want to get your hands on the Wii, go to Walmart at 1pm.

Who knew? Oh and the thing is so much damn fun. However, remember how I said that I'd probably be good at it since I move my joystick around? Yeah, I suck. It's wrong to have your ass handed to you at a game of tennis by your four year old.

Well gotta run. My 9 year old made pancakes! Woo Hoo!

Oh and I FINALLY got tickets to see Wicked for next weekend. This has been the score-a-rama weekend all right!

Hope you all have a good one!

See, I lie

2007-05-26T10:31:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I went with my 12 year old to one of the most evil places on Earth.

The Container Store.

I could seriously drop some mad cabbage in there. I managed to spend $75 and all I got were some bathroom crates and canisters for my kitchen. Skeery. My daughter even said, "it's a whole store full of things you never knew you needed." Who knew?

My next shopping goal is to get a grill. No, not the ones for your teeth although I would so rock them. I would. We need a real grill you can use to cook. My grill is at Lowe's. I know this because Consumer Reports told me so. Hopefully they have some Memorial Day sale there. I should be barbequing weenies by Monday. So excited.

I know I'm a stay at home mom and that domestic jobs (re: maid service) are my life. How sad is it that I was so happy this morning that my entire sink full of dishes perfectly fit into my dishwasher with no room to spare? I was truly stoked at myself for my dishwasher loading skills. I have some mad skills apparently. I rock.

Happy Memorial Day weekend to all (that just sounded so wrong)

Home

2007-05-24T18:10:00.001-06:00

Well I'm back in Colorado. Loving being home. Great flight home last night with drunks and tourney level word search finding flamboyant gay men. A good time was had by all.

Hopefully I'll get back to some normal semblance of a life soon. Right now I'm just trying to catch up on my dvr viewing. Lost in HD takes up an awful lot of space ya'll.

I promise to give a recap at weeks end. Oh crap, that's tomorrow. Well, we'll see.

I'm so tired right now that I feel like I'm getting sick. Perhaps it's just because I took 3 kids grocery shopping for over two hours today. Perhaps it's because my husband is really sick. Perhaps I need to just slow down for a while. I'm hoping for number 3.

If I lied and don't recap tomorrow, have a great 3 day weekend everyone. I'll be at the Home Depot buying a grill.

Vacation is tiring

2007-05-22T10:24:00.000-06:00

I am soooo freaking tired right now. I've had to go between L.A. and Orange County every day. And run all around. And drag kids from friend to friend. And listen to the begging as they plea with me not to leave their friends. It's sad but I'm really kind of over it.

Tomorrow we fly back. I am very excited to go back home but I am dreading flying with three kids alone.

I'm going now as my son won't stop making me do stuff for him. Bastard.

WAZZZZUUUPPPPP!!!!!!!

2007-05-21T09:33:00.000-06:00

Well I am back, safe and sound and in one slightly heavier piece. I think I'm just going to write out a travel log and put it in the sidebar so that I won't bore everyone with my traveling fun. I feel like I haven't been around forever. It's like I've forgotten how to write. ;)

Here are my ten things to know before taking a cruise vacation. Just in case.

10. Having sex in a twin bed is something only college kids should do. It's just not all that fun/easy/exciting when on vacation.

9. Cruise ships have the worst timing for everything. The shows were at 6:45. The kids club didn't open until 7. Dinner was at 8. We could never see a show, have peace at night and have the kids fed. It's just silly really.

8. If you are traveling with a small child and they insist on sleeping on the top bunk in your room, shove the ladder between the frame and the mattress. Viola! Kid can't fall out! Of course the cabin stewards on our floor weren't the one's who could tell us that. It was a nice lady with a three year old at our muster drill who tipped us off.

7. If you've ever thought you were good at partying you aren't. There were more 60 year old women who could seriously drink me under the table than I care to admit to. They must have iron livers or something.

6. Even though you get at least three courses in the dining room, it is much better to eat there. Since it's a "fancy" restaurant the quantity of food you get is the right amount. All the serious fatties eat at the buffet. I split the difference between the two.

5. Use Royal Caribbean for your cruising needs. The rock climbing wall was so well used by my family that it made it so worth it to have chosen Royal over Carnival. Plus apparently the food is much better.

4. San Diego is boring (well perhaps not if you haven't been there before), Catalina is BORING, and Ensenada is NOT the quaint, pretty port city that they try to tell you it is. If you can, take any other sailing than the one we took if you really want to "get out there" and see something.

3. I am still rocking and it's Monday. I've been off the ship since 10 am Friday. I am getting really, really tired of it.

2. Talk to the staff on your cruise. They recruit these people from all over the world and it is really cool to hear their stories. I think this is the only reason my husband ever will cruise. He just loves to hear where they're from, how they came to work on a ship etc. It can be a really neat tool for kids too.

And the number one thing to know about taking a cruise?

1. If you leave for your cruise and have blogged from your parents computer and don't delete the history, they will read your blog. It was very disconcerting to come home and have my mom ask how my husband's rash was clearing up. Very. Disconcerting.

Thanks for all the nice comments while I was gone. It's actually really nice to be back.

The Amazing Race

2007-05-14T10:08:00.000-06:00

Friday we got up very early for us (7 am. We're on vacation damn it) and started to do all the finishing touches to get out of the house and on to the airport. We left in plenty of time. Took the toll road to the airport to smartly bypass any morning traffic there might be. Park in the cheap lot ($5/day beeyotch!) and get on the shuttle. Where we sit FOREVER as the driver lets every man, woman and child who had a flight out of DIA on to the damn shuttle.

Finally start to drive and get to the counter at AA. Check in. Well, not my husband. They just cut off the baggage acceptance so he'll have to take his with him. Great.

Haul down to the security line which is the longest I've ever seen it there. Double damn. Snake through the queue only to realize that my husband has his toiletries in his bag. Throw away $15 dandruff shampoo. Realize I have a bottle of water and three box juices for my kids. Throw them away. Fucking terrorists.

Get to our place in the line and my oldest daughter gets pulled over for "suspicious items in her bag". She's 12 for chrissakes. She has her toiletry bag in her carry on. Fuck. Never even thought to ask. Brand new toothpaste and $15 bottle of teeth gel in the trash.

Head down to the train (DIA is one of the more craptastic airports in the country. You have to take everything but a boat to get on a plane.) Look up at the time. It's 10:09. I'm starting to panic. I say "crap it's 10:09 and our flight leaves at 10:35. We're at the last concourse. We'll never make it." My darling 12 year old says, "no mom. Our flight leaves at 10:25." Holy shit.

We run. Off the train, up two escalators and to the gate. We can hear them calling final boarding for our flight. I throw our boarding passes at the gate agent and we run on the plane. Phew. All is well and we've made our flight.

But there is trouble in paradise. Once boarded we all notice a smell. Not a very pleasant smell at that. It's a smell that takes me back to my days at Humboldt State. It's the smell of really rank B.O.

We sit in our seats. I'm a little disturbed to see we're sitting in row 23. I know it's lame (hello? theme of my life) and it will only make sense to you if you watch Lost, but I'm taking it in. Then it hits me. The nicely dressed older lady in front of me is the cause of the B.O.

2 hours. 2 hours of wretched body odor. 2 hours of my son saying, "what's that smell mom?" 2 hours of my husband laughing as I sit miserably on the plane with my shirt over my nose. I forgot to mention that I also have had to pee since I got to the parking area and I hate going on planes. 2 hours of horrible smell and the huge urge to urinate. Worst. Plane ride. Ever.

Got into L.A. safely and have had a really nice weekend. Lots of family and friends. At 1 today we will board our ship for our cruise. Really looking forward to it. Just hope my son will partake of the kids club a bit. He's being a bit clingy to me lately.

Hope you all have a wonderful week. I know I wrote a book with this one but I figure I'll leave you with something you can read in pieces since I'll be gone all week. Because I know how much you all care ;)

I'm a leavin' on a Jet Plane

2007-05-11T06:51:00.000-06:00

Heading out in a few minutes. Just thought I'd say a quick goodbye before I leave for Hell.A.

Last night I was in Walgreens. Pretty late. Picking up "essential" items for my trip. Here's what I bought:

1. Sea Bands
2. Gummi Worms (3 tubs)
3. Much gum
4. Marshmallow creme (you just never know)
5. A fish feeder
6. Giant Sudoku book
7. Finding Nemo crayons
8. Care Bears coloring and activity book (for my 12 year old for crissakes)
9. Fabreze (see reason for #4)

I'm outtie ya'll. I'll be checking in here and there. I believe they have the internet in that thar big city. Have a great weekend!

Things actually said by my family yesterday...

2007-05-10T08:38:00.000-06:00

While driving my son's friend home the boys got into a fight over who got in the car first. The argument left the friend crying like a maniac. When I walked him up to the door my oldest daughter was asking my son why he made his friend feel bad. He kept saying "because"

My daughter said, "tell me in 5 words why you made him feel bad."

My evil genius of a son said, " because, second, third, fourth, fifth."

My daughter and I almost peed in the car.

Yesterday I was talking to my friend Kim on the phone. Instead of actually coming downstairs to talk to me, my husband picked up the phone and started to have a chat with me.

I asked him what he wanted to do about the Prius situation. He said that we should really talk about that in private so that Kim didn't hear the discussion.

Then he said, "By the way, have you seen the rash on my dick? It's getting really bad."

Kim had been very quiet up until this point (I thought she'd hung up) but she burst out laughing after that. He's such a douche sometimes.

I took my kids shopping to my new favoritest stores in the whole world. One is Plato's Closet and the other is called Turnaround. They have brand name clothing that has been gently used for very, very cheap prices. (Thank you Dena for showing me the light.) The clothes are mostly for teens but I did pick up some shorts for my husband. I said it's a great place to fuel my desire to lose some weight (I could have spent a fortune in both).

I did however find 5 shirts that are hideously inappropriate for young girls. They are:

1. I Like to Swing
2. Your Boyfriend is a Good Kisser
3. My Boyfriend Told Me To Be More Lovable. I Now Have Two Boyfriends.
4. Stop Staring at my Chest
5. MILF in Training.

Hope you all have a great day. I've got the rest of the family packing and shopping to do before we head out tomorrow.

Cranky

2007-05-08T09:07:00.000-06:00

This morning my phone rang at the hideous hour of 8:20. I know this is very late in the morn for some of you but I'm on vacation right now (re: kids are home) so I wasn't too happy. I answered and all I could hear was someone breathing heavily. It sounded as though they were running on a treadmill or something weird like that. Finally after the 3rd hello? from me they said "hey" and kept on running. WTF? And that is why I've been up since 8:20.

Here I was all paranoid that I wouldn't wake up in time for my PTA meeting at 9:30. Silly me. Someone always has to foil my plans.

I was really hoping that I could come up with some wonderfully funny stories for everyone for the next few days as I won't be around much after that. Well for 2 weeks after. I leave on Friday for L.A. and next Monday I'm taking a short cruise (figured we might as well take a bit of a vaca while on our vaca) Our parents have internet access so I am sure I will blog from vacation but those 5 days at sea I'm thinking will be dark days here. Unfortunately I can't come up with one damn funny thing. My husband didn't even say "bitch crazy" once during Heroes last night which makes me wonder if the writers have lost their touch.

Have a good one ya'll.

My mind is a vast wasteland

2007-05-07T10:27:00.000-06:00

I really have nothing to say today. I'm looking forward to Heroes tonight. Wait, you could guess that. My kids are home. Boringarama. My house is a sty. Same shit, different day.

Yep, I've got nothing.

I'll leave you with a cute tidbit from my 4 year old son.

His sisters were both out on Saturday night. He was bored. I told him I'd take him to Blockbuster and get him the Rescue Heroes movie that he'd been wanting but his sisters always hog the rental. We grab the movie and get in line. I tell him he can get a candy (Blockbuster snack pass ya'll!) and we leave. As we get in the car, my son with the biggest grin on his face, hugs me and says "I am sooooo happy with you right now"

He's so freakin cute I can hardly stand it sometimes.

7 Random things about me

2007-05-05T11:37:00.000-06:00

Thanks to Skittles for this one (I can't believe I have to think of more stuff now)

I've been tagged with the "Seven Random Things About Me" meme by Skittles.

Here are the rules as passed on - Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about the seven things and the rules. You need to choose seven people to tag and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

Seven Random Things About Me

1. When I play video games (which is rare as I suck at them) I move the controller all around as if this will somehow "help". I really need to get a wii for this reason LOL

2. I love to read through directories and phone books. I love seeing who I know, where they live, what their phone number is. Now I will sometimes use zillow to find out how big their house is. Does this make me a stalker?

3. The only time I have ever gotten up the guts to do karaoke it was to "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard. I rocked.

4. I am still angry at "The Amazing Jonathan". My husband and I went to see him a few years back. During his warm up he says mean things about the audience. He put his camera on me and put the caption "really a man". Of course he is really a fat ass who hasn't changed his act in the last 10 years. I'm not bitter.

5. I will not allow myself to drink my morning coffee (which I desperately need) before I do my dishes.

6. I hate listening to my kids sing. It irritates the crap out of me. Esp. when we're watching a movie and they know all the words. High School Musical is now banned from my house. Rent is soon to follow.

7. I was adopted as an infant. 9 years ago this August I found my birth mom through the internet. It only took one weekend.

I Tag:
Trapped In Colorado, Julie (I dare you. Hey it worked for Slick), Kate, Lorrie, Burfica, Canadian Flake, and Tim (though he'll either not do it or rip off someone else's answers.)

Going to buy other people's crap today.

2007-05-04T09:15:00.000-06:00

I have to make this quick as I have to get out of here to hit some garage sales. I still hold on to some of my hippy ideals, one of them being that we have way too much stuff and that if someone is getting rid of something (in good condition) you might as well make use of it.

Oh and let's see.

#1 My favorite tv show as a young kid was Land Of The Lost. In Kindergarten we always played it and I was always Holly. I've asked for the boxed set for Mom's Day. Doubt I'll get it but it's my current dream ;) Oh that and those stupid tickets I couldn't get yesterday.

10 Things You Don't Know About Me

2007-05-03T08:06:00.000-06:00

Thanks to Mz. Jackson, I have been tagged to tell you 10 things about myself that you don't know. Well, Julie might know a couple. She also had a couple of suggestions but most of them would get me into trouble. Here we go:

10. I used to blog under the name "Shellubra" (nick name Shell). Had that one for a while but life got to a complicated point and I had to quit. I got that name while working on the set of "Nonnie and Alex". Five of us were out filling up the cars for the next day and we pulled into a service station. On the wall someone had written "Shell Lubrification" in huge, really crappy orange spray painted letters. The other occupants of the car all started cracking up. Somehow they all started calling me "Shellubra". Whatever ;)

9. I am really hoping that I can score some tickets today for the KROQ Weenie Roast. I will be in town that day and love me some Linkin Park. Oh and I need to find someone to go with as my husband would rather die than go to a show at Verizon.

8. I am an alumnus of Humboldt State University. I loved that place. Haven't been back in 9 years. My degree is in Liberal Studies with an emphasis on Radio, TV and Film. Maybe this explains some of my posts :) I chose the school as it was the furthest campus from my house with in-state tuition.

7. I cry every.single.motherhumping.time I hear "Proud To Be An American" by Lee Greenwood. I feel totally lame every time. First time I ever heard the song I was at one of those theaters in Branson, MO. Last time I heard it I was at my oldest child's D.A.R.E. graduation. Yeah, that was embarrassing.

6. I don't like cops. I really thought it was more of an authority figure thing but I've recently learned that it's just cops. I get all nervous and shaky around them. This too was embarrassing at my daughter's D.A.R.E. graduation. The cop prolly thought I was a junkie. I guess I've just known too many a-hole cops.

5. I was accused, in high school, of ransacking my best friend's house which I was supposed to be watching. I was watching it. Unfortunately I had to send my boyfriend over one night and he fucked my other friend at that house. Left many condoms behind. They apparently made some other messes too. It still pisses me off to this day that she never believed me and thought I would do that to her. We've never been friends since.

4. I was a cheerleader at Humboldt State. I was one of the oldest girls and could buy alcohol. We used to do shots at my house before we'd have to go to a game. Not very wise thinking on my part as I was the one they used to throw up in the air. Ah, to be young and stupid.

3. This is one of my favorite jobs I have had (I haven't had many. One included working at a Thighmaster booth in a mall.) in my short career. I got to go up in one of the planes. The man who took me up was Commander Rick Fessenden who was such a nice guy. I cried when I later found out he had been killed flying.

2. nevermind

1. I'll have to think on this one.

My Son, the Fetishist

2007-05-02T08:17:00.000-06:00

My son has a fetish. It's a really odd one and I do hold on to hope that someday he will outgrow it or at least move it on to someone other than myself.

My soon to be 5 year old loves to play with my belly. He rubs it to calm himself down. He prefers to have "hand to belly contact" when he tries to fall asleep. One night I flipped over onto my stomach while he was sleeping next to me and he said (while sleepingish) "NO. BELLY!" I thought my husband was going to wet the bed.

My son says he likes it because it's "floppily". I try to tell myself that he likes it because he has a feeling of connection due to having lived in there for 9 mos. Really though I think he's right. It is "floppily".

At least he doesn't suck his thumb or smoke crack. Those are some hard habits to kick.

Blake Bakes My Cake

2007-05-01T21:09:00.000-06:00

or eats my cake, or takes my cake. Whatever. Regardless I love the man and his perfomance on Bon Jovi night was wicked awesome. Even though a)he looked a bit gayer than normal and b)1985 Simon Le Bon called and wanted his look back, Blake was still my favorite.

Just in case you cared.

New Car Smell

2007-05-01T09:57:00.000-06:00

We are currently in the market to buy a new car for my husband (btw if you are in the Denver Metro area and are in the market for a 2002 Subaru WRX hatchback with only 40,000 miles, gimme a ring). I am very excited as I don't like to drive stick shift, regardless of the rumors.

We are looking at the 2007 Toyota Prius. I took my son for a test drive last week and fell in love. Plus with my husband working 60 miles away we thought it would be nice to a)save on gas and b)not have that stinking stick shift anymore. I am so excited.

I do hate dealing with the car dealers though. One was such a douchebag (I'd give you his number but really, don't want to kill a potential deal) that he called me at 8:30 am (oh yes he did) had me tell him what I was looking for (even though I put that all on my internet request) and then he said he'd email me with the price. Well, he emailed me and asked me what I was looking for. What a NIMROD!

Customer service these days sucks.

So pleased with myself

2007-04-30T08:27:00.000-06:00

I know I'm not normally a very cocky person but today I'm just too damn proud of myself not to let you all know just how great I am.

For Christmas we got my oldest child a bike. We assembled it this weekend (no I'm not cocky because I'm a huge procrastinator. Besides it was damn snowy this winter, lay off) and found out that it doesn't really fit her (nope, not my moment of pride either) but it fits me perfectly.

I had to wrestle with some deamons here people. I haven't ridden a bike in a good 15 years. Ever since I went riding through the streets of Arcata, CA and some hapless hippy almost ran me over. Seriously. I knew I could ride, but did I want to die?

One of the nice things about living where I do is the trail system here. They are everywhere. One just happens to start right off the end of my cul-de-sac (cue no/fx song. sorry) Without thinking I slap on my helmet and go hit the trail. One of the hills was so hard that I saw two people get off and walk their bikes. But I conquered the beast and rode on home.

My bike ride was short (though it almost killed me and I thought my lungs were going to burst) but I did it and am very proud of myself. Even though my ass now hurts and I have a slightly chafed vagina, I did it. Aren't you proud of me?

So freaking tired

2007-04-27T08:25:00.000-06:00

Last night at 4:40 am my daughter's cell phone rang. Loudly. In my room. Needless to say I've been up since 4:40. (no my daughter does not know who called. she has what is apparently a very popular old number as we get calls on it all the time. Which is really great as it's a pay as you go phone.) Oh and some douchebag on my street sat outside honking at about 6 am. What the hell is wrong with people?

I just realized yesterday that my husband looks like Syler. A lot. It kinda creeps me out. I'm really trying to figure out what power I have that he wishes to take. I'm scared.

If you want to have some fun call this person at 678-570-8755 and tell them never to call my daughter again. Hopefully they weren't calling because someone died. Whatever. Mofo's woke me up.

Ryan Seacrest is a bastard

2007-04-26T08:23:00.000-06:00

That was just plain cruel. He made my 12 year old tear up. More unfair what he did to poor Jordin.

I finally slept through a whole night without waking up. I'm like a newborn I tell ya.

I really hate when my kids come in while I'm typing up a blog post and start reading it. They're little bastards too. (that's what you get when you read over shoulders.)

Is it weird that I felt kind of bad that Lou Knickerbocker died? I mean don't get me wrong. He creeps me out like none other. But I feel sorry for all the kids he left behind. They have enough problems as it is.

Yes, I know. I have issues with tv. It all stems from my days with a tv in my room watching "You Can't Do that on Television". I still love Alasdair. If you want you can check him out here. I already know I have issues so no need to point them out.

I've really got nothing of importance to say. Not that I ever do. :) I'm beginning to wonder if I am anything more than a random mess of tv addiction. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I think.

This sucks

2007-04-25T08:17:00.000-06:00

Got a call this morning from son's preschool. Seems school is cancelled today. Why you ask? I have no freaking clue. It's sunny out. No snow on the ground. Go online and find out my other kids school is closed as well. Crap.

Enough of my misery. Here's my story for the day.

Last week it was heart dissection day in my oldest child's class. I volunteered my husband as there was no way I was doing this. Husband goes in and has to lead a group of four kids and one heart. They go through all the stuff and my husband is amazed at how much these kids know. He said they were like little doctors or something.

After the dissection, the teacher had the kids say what they learned. He's calling on kids and they're going "I learned that the left ventrical will inflate at a rate of 200 psi when conductivity of air is introduced" Yes that was paraphrased. Yes I know it means nothing. I didn't go remember? Yuck.

The teacher calls on my husband. What did you learn today? Here's what my husband says:
"I learned today that lamb heart tastes just like chicken"

Yeah, he's a rockstar.

Ahhh, Spring in Colorado!

2007-04-24T17:11:00.000-06:00

God must hate people who live just to the east of the Rockies

2007-04-24T08:27:00.000-06:00

or he's mad we moved here or something.

Sunday it was 70. Beautiful out. Total springtime wonderland.
Today? Snow. Hail. Freakin cold. Oh and we were under tornado watch last night.

Thank goodness I just rented that Spongebob video for boy child or he'd be going mad not playing outside.

It was so great to have "Heroes" on again. My husband even made it through the entire episode (except the credits when they showed Ali Larter's name) without saying "bitch crazy". We're making progress.

My neighbors are having wood floors put in, I believe their entire house. They have had some sort of generator (sander?) running since 5 am. If I wasn't so damn tired at 5 am I would have called someone to bitch about it. It's making our whole house hum.

I rekindled my love for Dave Chapelle the other night. I caught his stand up routine on Comedy Central. He actually makes me laugh for days after seeing him. Except that "Block Party" movie. That was a piece of shit.

Why isn't spell check working on blogger today? Ya'll are gonna have to suck up my spelling errors as I'm too lazy to proofread on my own. Yes Julie, I mean you.

12 hours til my man Blake performs. Woo Hoo! And no Sanjaya! Bonus!

I think that's enough of my mental diarrhea for now. Have a great day.

It's the final countdown...

2007-04-23T08:31:00.000-06:00

Next week I might have to be taken to the funny farm. Well, probably not for two weeks. Here's why:

I only have 4 days left of preschool for my son. 4.precious.days. Granted preschool is only two and a half hours long but you would be amazed by what I can get done in those hours (and a half). Sincerely.

After Thursday my son will be home until...July 11th. That is two and a half months people. Quite frankly I'm scared. I took all my kids and the local kids to the park yesterday for 4 hours. My daughters quite honestly were wrecked by this. They were bickering at a "level orange" state. My son? Barely seemed to notice. I'm screwed.

Then there's another matter. My daughters. They are out for onemotherhumpinmonth starting May 4th. Sometimes I hate the track system.

So, May 5th I may need to be committed. No wait, then I'd have to bust out. I have a little trip going on in May. Check back May 23rd. I'll definitely be insane by then.

I should have planned these last two weeks better...

Peggy doesn't like green dots...

2007-04-21T10:05:00.000-06:00

A HUGE thank you to Peggy over at Bella Mommy for creating my lovely new template. I am very appreciative. If you are thinking of changing things up over at your own site check Peggy out first. She is super cool, very friendly and quick! Also very reasonable. I just can not thank her enough.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. They said it's supposed to rain today but as I've learned, they CAN NOT predict the weather just east of the Rockies. Right now it's absolutely beautiful out so I'm going to go enjoy it.

Oh and another thank you to all of you readers who have been leaving such nice comments. It's very sweet of you to take the time to stop by and leave a nice note. I appreciate all of you as well.

Enjoy!

Random thoughts

2007-04-20T09:38:00.000-06:00

I woke up in the middle of the night with a bit of vomit in my mouth. Not sure what was going on there (can one get acid reflux from salad for crying out loud?) but it was a hella nasty surprise to wake up to. I hate brushing my teeth at 3 am.

I like some really bad music. I am ok with this but really I was surprised by just how craptastic my musical taste can range. Go see Julie if you want full details.

My daughters have too much. I need to reel them in. Big time. When we are in Mexico next month I think I'll take them around and show them what a rough life is. My oldest thinks cleaning the living room is criminal. I'll show her.

Working in a school is very, very draining. I did just under three volunteer hours yesterday and I was wrecked when I came home. It amazes me every time.

One way to irritate me? Change the time on my alarm clock.

Is it wrong that I am so looking forward to Monday I can hardly stand it? Heroes rocks.

Is it just me or is this season of Survivor b.o.r.i.n.g?

I really need to shave before I go to the pool today. Really though? I don't wanna.

Have a good Friday ya'll. And a great weekend too.

Ways to know you are a BFF

2007-04-19T08:18:00.000-06:00

I know that some people think you can only have one bestest friend. Those people are stupid. Of course you can have more than one. Each one has a different function in your life.

Ways to know you are BFF's

1. You don't even flinch when asking them how to spell diarrhea.
2. You accept their quirks/faults. After all, you probably have some of the same faults as well.
3. You can drop a deuce while talking on the phone with them and not even pause the conversation.
4. You don't care when they have to get off the phone with you to take a call from their mother/cousin/boy toy/other bff. You understand and accept that there are other people in their life.
5. You call each others children "douchebags" when they do something stupid. No ones feelings get hurt.
6. You don't mind listening to all their problems. And all their joys of course.
7. You are asked to be in a menage a troi with this person because, you know, it just wouldn't be weird.
8. You don't criticize them when they are doing something bad. It's not your place. (unless they are going to harm another. then you can set them straight)
9. You've gotten naked in front of them for any reason and don't even care.
10. You miss them when you've gone too long without talking to them.

Actual Convo at my house this a.m.

2007-04-18T08:32:00.000-06:00

My daughters have taken to fighting every morning. It pisses me off to no end.

It started when my daughter E said "A and I have switched places. Now I buy lunch and she doesn't"

A: Not uh
E: yeah, you keep taking
A: No
E: Yes
A: I can't wait until next year when I don't have to get ready in the morning with E around
E: Well I can't wait until you have to get up at 6 am.
A: Yeah well I'll get out earlier than you
E: Yeah but you'll have a ton more work
A: No fourth grade is the hardest year for transition
E: Did you have trouble with it? No.
A: So doesn't mean you won't
E: I won't. I'm smarter than you
A: No you aren't
E: Mom can I have a bagel
M: sure, if you make it yourself
A: Make me one too
E: No Butt Munchkin
A: Fine I'll make one myself stupid
E: If you can figure out how
A: These bagels are hard to cut
E: See I told you you couldn't figure it out
A: Just shut up E
E: Make me (smacks her ass with a bagel)
A: Just don't talk to me anymore

Blissful silence. How lame are they? This goes on EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING. I'm about to sell them to the gypsy's.

I hope your morning routine is much more pleasant than mine.

Nothing today

2007-04-17T09:09:00.000-06:00

I've just got nothing to say today so I think I'll just send some prayers and positive thoughts to those involved in yesterday's shootings at Virginia Tech. What an awful, awful tragedy. You send your kids to school to be safe, not terrorized by a suicidal classmate. Very, very sad.

My thoughts are with all the victims and their families.

Tomato Face

2007-04-16T08:06:00.001-06:00

By nature I have a rather round face. Even when I was at my skinny-minniest my face was still more "full moon" than "vapid model". Some screw up in the genetic code.

Yesterday I took my son and younger daughter to the park. It was an absolutely gorgeous day here and I thought I might kill someone if I spent it cooped up in the house. To the park we went. Without sunscreen. Somehow my precious children managed to get away undamaged by their mother's stupidity. Mom did not get off so lucky. I am now a big ole tomato face. Today will be a makeup day for sure.

This is one of those weeks that I hate. The kind where you have something almost every night. It's going to be one big run fest all week long. I'm tired already.

I hope you all have a wonderful week ahead of you full of lots of downtime and with no need to wear any makeup. Except you men. Maybe you guys should wear makeup for a week. See what a bitch it is to get ready every day.

Don't mind me. I haven't had my coffee yet. And I'm starving. Really you're getting off lucky.

I am the P.I.M.P

2007-04-14T12:27:00.000-06:00

Goo Goo Ga Joob

Since my friend is being a whore, I'll help out by being her pimp.

Darling Julie was nominated for 3 awards at Blogger's Choice Awards. How rad is that? And yes I said rad. Sue me.

Head on over to her blog (hint, click on her name above!) and go check it out. I will love you long time if you vote for her.

Have a great weekend ya'll!

Is God trying to tell me something?

2007-04-13T08:38:00.000-06:00

I read a lot of blogs yesterday. A LOT. I commented on most of them. I do try to comment on all the ones I visit but seriously I run out of witty or insightful things to say. I'm sure you can tell this by reading my posts.

Yesterday however I believe that God was sending me a message. What it's purpose was I'm not really sure.

Almost every blog I commented on yesterday that has word verification had the letters "bj" at the end. A sign? Hmmmm. Or perhaps is google trying to have it's way with me. Maybe it's all just some great mind scheme they've been cooking up.

Will I ever really know?

Discuss.

Update: Sanjaya is now my

2007-04-12T09:04:00.000-06:00

vagina? Yep, my darling 12 year old came up with this gem. We were watching Idol last night and my husband started calling our dog (Ginger) Ginjaya. Which bothers me but I can't let him know or he'll keep doing it. Anywho, our daughter is meanwhile sitting on the couch silently shaking with tears streaming down her face. Ruling out illness I ask her what's so funny. She barely eeks out, Sanjaya is my...more shaking. More tears. So I offer up vagina? And she bursts out laughing while nodding her head. Who knew this was hereditary?

Oh and Lost last night? Best. Episode. Ever.
When Sawyer saw Kate I about cried. Because I am lame and a total sap. Suck it.

Well I hear my son peeing all over the floor upstairs so I've gotta run. You all have a wonderful day now.

Overheard in the market yesterday:

2007-04-11T08:18:00.000-06:00

There was a bloated lady (late 50's), sharply dressed (except for the floor length fur. Blech) walking through the market with a sense of entitlement reserved usually for the very wealthy. She was talking into her bluetooth as she tried to find the shortest line that would get her away from the rif-raf as soon as humanly possible.

In line at the in store bank was a very, very, very, very unhappy 3 year old girl. Who was crying and crying and screaming and crying. (Yes it was VERY annoying. However I'm a parent and we've all been there. Hell my oldest actually threw one of those mini carts one time when I picked her up so I know my way around embarrassing shopping times)

This lady (term used loosely) actually said this into the phone:

"Oh that? That is a petulant child positively screaming in the store."
"I know, can you believe parents these days? Why on Earth don't they remove her so we all don't have to listen to this"
"I mean for God sakes, this is why there are nannies. Obviously this man isn't fit to take care of this child."

I thought I was going to have to be picked up off the floor. This woman was like a fat, blinged out version of the Wicked Witch of the West. What is wrong with people?

Did you know?

2007-04-10T08:16:00.000-06:00

Did you know that it took me 2 and a half hours yesterday to clean out a 12 gallon aquarium? While I was cleaning it I would have sworn only 20 mins or so had passed.

Did you know that if you tell your 9 year old child and her friend that they can make a "pond" in the dirt in your backyard they will take that to mean the dirt that lies under your grass? Now I have a big ass hole in my yard.

Did you know that if you let your kid stay home from school sick they will have more energy and get on your nerves more than any other time in their life?

Did you know that a main purpose of the internet is to confuse and annoy you so that you never (almost) buy or do anything? I stifle myself with research.

Did you know that the control button on the right hand side of my laptop must have arthritis? It'll seize up for a few days and then go back to it's normal springy self. I know, weird right?

Did you know that I'm going back to the gym starting today? I need to lose some weight so that I can successfully gain it back when I take my cruise next month.

Did you know that I'm much funnier in person? ;)

Now you tell me something. What should I know?

Is it Monday already?

2007-04-09T08:08:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we had a very nice day. Usually for Easter we go to my MIL's house. She decorates eggs with the kids. She sets out an egg hunt for them. She cooks. It still somehow always ends up being stressful. Yesterday was the first real holiday we've had since we've moved (we went back for Christmas so that doesn't count). While we missed the family and our kids really missed playing with their cousins, it was also very relaxing.

I made Easter bags for the kids (with some stuff my MIL sent which was very nice). They were so excited to wake up to them since they never have LOL. Then my husband and I hid 30 eggs and sent the kids off to find them. One is still missing. We have NO idea where it is. I said that at least it wasn't a real egg. My lovely 9 year old pointed out that if it were, at least eventually we'd find it. She has a point.

For dinner I made this and this and this and my 9 year old made a cake which we cut out into the shape of an egg and frosted and decorated. Gotta love allrecipes.com. Everything was wonderful.

How was your weekend? Anything fun (or yummy) had by you or your family?

I knew it!

2007-04-06T08:35:00.000-06:00

CSUF study says gays more likely than straights to be left-handed

I always knew my husband was gay! It explains the jokes.

Is there any reason my 12 year old insists on talking to me the whole time I try to write a post? It makes it hard to type and think at the same time. Today's ultra long story? About a girl who could only hear really loud things. See you don't think it's interesting either.

My coffee isn't really doing it for me today.

I have to take my dog in to the vet today. And it's raining. How craptastic is that? I love me some wet dog in the car. Fun, fun. Oh and after her appointment I have to put her in the car and run into the market. Let her wet fur funk up the car even more. Should make the car smell even better than it already does (thanks to a pair of stinky shoes and a wet towel a friend left on my back seat).

My middle child is home with a cold today. I told her 30 mins ago that she could stay home if she went back upstairs to bed. She said ok and refuses to get off her ass. I'd make her go but she really is sick and I'll try not to infect everyone else in her class. I'm good like that.

I think I'll go get another cup and stop boring ya'll for today. Have a good Good Friday all.

Sanjaya is my Papaya

2007-04-03T21:35:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was a really nice day. My friend picked the boy child up to take him to school. My husband and I went to lunch here. It was a really nice restaurant (although I can't say I recommend the buffalo meatloaf). Then we came home and walked the pooch (no, this isn't a sex reference. We actually have a dog). I went to go meet my friend and the boys for their Tae Kwan Do lesson. Cutest. Thing. Ever. I promised Julie that I'd take pictures but I lie sometimes. For fun. You should try it. Thursday I swear though J ;)

Came home. Made a kick ass burrito for dinner (seriously. much better than the buffalo meatloaf) Then sat down to watch the greatness that is American Idol (though I found most of last night to be boring. Really I feel that most of them have been boring but I love Blake so I muddle through) But really, what made my day was the chick with the "Sanjaya is my Papaya" banner. WTF does that even mean? Papaya helps canker sores, maybe that's it? Oh and his hair was worth watching the show for anyway.

Then the end-cap to the evening was watching my 12 year old dd and my favorite new man. We seriously love this man. Because we are seriously two of the more f-d up people you might meet. Just ask Julie.

Hope your Tuesday was as kick ass as mine.

To further prove that I have no life...

2007-04-03T08:59:00.000-06:00

and that I'm a bit of a voyeur. I next blog. You are probably way to cool to have ever partaken in this activity. Not I. I love hitting the "next blog". Usually I get an English blog or two before I hit the 20 in Spanish, the few in French, and then the ones from Asia (why the hell do most of these show up as question marks?) Then I almost always, without fail, hit a blog with some hot beautiful men. Half naked beautiful men. As I curiously scroll down, inevitably there comes the pic of two guys going at it. Who knew there were so many gas sex blogs out there?

My question today is, how do you find new blogs to read (assuming you do). Do you click on people in other people's comments? Do you click on their links? Or dare say do you next blog?

If you don't next blog, you are missing this, and this and this. See, good stuff. And it's how I found Donsie.

Heroes and abilities

2007-04-02T08:19:00.000-06:00

So for the last few night my husband and I have sat in bed and tried to catch up on "Heroes". We are always a bit behind the times (we pulled a weekend bender of season 1 of Lost). We have about 5 episodes of the show until we catch up with the series. We are both really enjoying the show and like trying to figure out what some of the powers the people have are.

Last night, while we took a water break, I found mine.

I know, I know. You didn't know I was "special". Well at least not in that way.

As we walked into the kitchen to fill our cups we both simultaneously puked a bit in our mouths. It was one of the freakiest things I've ever witnessed. We were like "did you just?"..."did you?" Yep. And we declared it my power.

I'm not really sure what to do with such powers. Can they be used for good? Are they powers I really want?

What power would you like to have (if you haven't already found yours?)

This just makes me oh so happy

2007-03-30T14:28:00.000-06:00

Duh!

2007-03-30T08:15:00.000-06:00

Every night I seem to find all these things my family does to be quite funny. Yes there are the desperately annoying parts as well but who wants to hear about that?

So how come I can never remember anything that happened the night before when I sit down to post in the morning? I have the vaguest of notions of what happened but can't fluff them out to their full potential.

Sigh. I just need to remember to write stuff down.

ETA: How on Earth do I insert the blogrolling code into the "new and improved Blogger 2?" I know I am not the most techno-savvy chica on the planet but C'MON! Thanks :)

Double ETA: Is it lame that I was hella impressed with the fact that I figured this out? 9/2m-8=-5.5+4m I already know I'm lame so really?

Snow?

2007-03-29T08:23:00.000-06:00

The last few weeks here in the Denver area have been absolutely gorgeous. Wonderful weather. Clear skys. As I got up this morning I was thinking, wow, the weather report says April is one of the snowiest months here. It'll be really weird for it to snow again after all this wonderful spring weather (actually the thought process was more like is it really going to snow again in April? But I'm taking creative license and making myself seem smarter)

So I take a step downstairs and see out the cut out window above my front door a winter wonderland.

I semi freak out as I've been wearing shorts all week and don't even know where pants are to take the kids to school. Then it dawns on me that I parked outside. Damn.

I guess I get to uncover the 7 inches that fell last night this morning before dumping the kids off. Joy.

How is your day going?

Things that make you go hmmmmm...

2007-03-27T09:54:00.000-06:00

I know a very, deeply religious couple. Very, very religious. Alcohol has never touched the lips. Whatever other things mandated by said religion (I know they lose A LOT of weight during lent) are done to the highest standards set forth by their church. Now for the good part.

The male had a vasectomy approx. 2 years ago (which I do find odd given their religion but eh, who am I to judge?). He went back faithfully for the two "spew in the cup and let us make sure you're firing blanks" checks. The male also has some heart problems. He was told that with his heart medication, it would be next to impossible for him to impregnate anyone. See where I'm going with this?

Yeppers, the female is pregnant. My first response was who's the baby's daddy? Everyone else cited their deep religious conviction (they did bring their priest to Sea World with them after all!) and the fact that there is no way she would ever. What do you think?

Don't you wish...

2007-03-26T08:37:00.000-06:00

...that on days you get to sleep in NOTHING would bother you to wake you up?

...that your children would listen to you instead of suffering the consequences?

...Rob and Amber hadn't been kicked off the Amazing Race as I now am too bored to watch it?

...that Sanjaya would get kicked off AI this week?

...that you never had to even own a pair of "fat pants"?

...that people wouldn't harass you to death about stuff you aren't going to help them with?

...everyone could write the wittiest blog posts daily instead of coming up with drivel like this?

...your girlfriend was hot like me?