Anyone want to clean my house?

My poor house is such a sty right now that it looks as if a pack of wild dingos lives here. It is seriously bringing me down and yet I really don't feel like dealing with it. I know. Poor pitiful me.

Last night my wrist was killing me. I have no idea. My thoughts floated to some sort of masturbation condition then I realized I'm not a guy. So, no idea (hmm, maybe it was from spray painting the desk I bought my oldest child?) but it hurt like a mother. So I took some Aleve. Let me just say that for reasons completely unknown to me (I feel as if I'm walking through life with my head up my ass reading this) it knocked me out. Cold.

Woke up this morning to see that my children happily consumed much ice cream in my absence. And they left every light and tv on. I've taught them so well.

That's all for me. Off to dream about having someone clean my house. I wouldn't even let a cleaning service do it at this point though. It's just too embarassing.