Laurie's Life (Denver Style)

See how our family is doing since moving from Cali to Colorado

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Things actually said by my family yesterday...

While driving my son's friend home the boys got into a fight over who got in the car first. The argument left the friend crying like a maniac. When I walked him up to the door my oldest daughter was asking my son why he made his friend feel bad. He kept saying "because"

My daughter said, "tell me in 5 words why you made him feel bad."

My evil genius of a son said, " because, second, third, fourth, fifth."

My daughter and I almost peed in the car.

Yesterday I was talking to my friend Kim on the phone. Instead of actually coming downstairs to talk to me, my husband picked up the phone and started to have a chat with me.

I asked him what he wanted to do about the Prius situation. He said that we should really talk about that in private so that Kim didn't hear the discussion.

Then he said, "By the way, have you seen the rash on my dick? It's getting really bad."

Kim had been very quiet up until this point (I thought she'd hung up) but she burst out laughing after that. He's such a douche sometimes.

I took my kids shopping to my new favoritest stores in the whole world. One is Plato's Closet and the other is called Turnaround. They have brand name clothing that has been gently used for very, very cheap prices. (Thank you Dena for showing me the light.) The clothes are mostly for teens but I did pick up some shorts for my husband. I said it's a great place to fuel my desire to lose some weight (I could have spent a fortune in both).

I did however find 5 shirts that are hideously inappropriate for young girls. They are:

1. I Like to Swing
2. Your Boyfriend is a Good Kisser
3. My Boyfriend Told Me To Be More Lovable. I Now Have Two Boyfriends.
4. Stop Staring at my Chest
5. MILF in Training.

Hope you all have a great day. I've got the rest of the family packing and shopping to do before we head out tomorrow.

19 Comments:

  • At May 10, 2007 at 9:12 AM , Anonymous Lorrie said...

    Apparently being smart mouth is a male gene in your family. Passed from father to son. Good thing Kim is a friend or the morality police would have taken you away.

     
  • At May 10, 2007 at 10:32 AM , Blogger Biddie said...

    MILF in training? That is the worst EVER! Thanks for stopping by my place...I meant to stop by earlier....My sister is at the Rose Medical Centre, right there in Denver. Small world.....
    BTW, your hubby sounds alot like mine.. Men.

     
  • At May 10, 2007 at 11:00 AM , Blogger Blazngfyre said...

    Which is WHY those shirts are there in the first place!
    GAH!

    I do loves me some good old fashioned smart-assery!

     
  • At May 10, 2007 at 11:39 AM , Blogger Hammer said...

    I've seen little girls shirts that say things like slut and porn star...do parents actually let their kids wear them?

     
  • At May 10, 2007 at 12:08 PM , Blogger Tim said...

    nicely done by your husband!

     
  • At May 10, 2007 at 2:40 PM , Blogger Jodi said...

    LMAO about the rash! I saw one the other day - on a white trashy bitch at Babies R Us of all places:

    I wouldn't even f@#k you for practice.

    Nice.

     
  • At May 10, 2007 at 2:56 PM , Blogger CeeCi said...

    "Because, second, third..." absolutely cracked me up! You know, sometimes we're meanies "just because." How's that rash? And good Gawd, those t-shirt slogans were gross.

    Thanks for stopping by my site today! I'll be back.

     
  • At May 10, 2007 at 5:26 PM , Blogger Claire said...

    Love it when preschoolers are evil geniuses (is that a word?). Hopefully they are more funny than mouthy when they get older, right? Mine has a mouth on him and a 'tude to match. Love it.

     
  • At May 10, 2007 at 5:42 PM , Blogger Burfica said...

    OMG all the women in my family are that way. The men never are, until they have been around us a few years.

    We are a bunch of snarky one's here on smart ass lane. hehehehe

     
  • At May 10, 2007 at 6:18 PM , Blogger Mz Jackson said...

    Oh, Mr. Laurie is bad, bad, bad...hee, hee, hee!
    My good friend Rebecca from the Rants from Sunnybrook Farm recently informed me what MILF meant. Ugh.

     
  • At May 10, 2007 at 6:44 PM , Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

    Those shirts rock! What makes you think they are inappropriate?

     
  • At May 10, 2007 at 9:18 PM , Blogger ian said...

    You cracked me up with those. Seriously, I spat stuff on my keyboard.

    Expect a bill to follow.

    Ian

     
  • At May 11, 2007 at 1:45 AM , Blogger andophiroxia said...

    I've seen worse. In the realm of the internet...well...

     
  • At May 11, 2007 at 2:37 AM , Blogger egan said...

    Yeah, your hubby did us proud. I would love to chat about the Prius situation.

     
  • At May 11, 2007 at 6:02 AM , Blogger Chick said...

    You have a funny family & I'm bet your friend is still laughing.

     
  • At May 11, 2007 at 6:24 AM , Blogger Canadian flake said...

    Omg your hubby is wayyyyyyyyy too funny...hope his rash gets better for your vacate..lmao. I know what you mean about the tshirt slogans..I used to work in a store and they got these in all the time. The one that stuck with me most said "Just wait...I'm ALMOST legal". I have told my teenage gremlin that if she EVER wants to wear one of these on her front side, she WILL wear my footprint on her backside....lmao.

     
  • At May 11, 2007 at 9:43 PM , Blogger "Kelli BoBelli" said...

    OMFG! Your husband is HILARIOUS! I need to introduce him to mine. That is great. Embarrassing, but great.

     
  • At May 13, 2007 at 8:09 AM , Blogger Katherine Marie said...

    I hate those shirts, yet I found myself laughing on the inside. I like to SWING?! Don't you have to be married, technically, to be a swinger?!

    Wow, just Wikipedia-ed that and learned way more than I needed to know. I think the technical word for it is TMI.

     
  • At May 13, 2007 at 8:15 AM , Blogger Katherine Marie said...

    There's a freaking association. An UMBRELLA association called the North American Swing Club Association or NASCA for short.

    The residents of my state should be super careful about how they pronounce their favorite pastime, lest they be referring to a national wife-swapping organization. (NHites don't pronounce the R's in words, similar to Massholes).

    Thought I'd share that with you, since you inspired me to look it up.

     

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home