Things actually said by my family yesterday...

While driving my son's friend home the boys got into a fight over who got in the car first. The argument left the friend crying like a maniac. When I walked him up to the door my oldest daughter was asking my son why he made his friend feel bad. He kept saying "because"

My daughter said, "tell me in 5 words why you made him feel bad."

My evil genius of a son said, " because, second, third, fourth, fifth."

My daughter and I almost peed in the car.

Yesterday I was talking to my friend Kim on the phone. Instead of actually coming downstairs to talk to me, my husband picked up the phone and started to have a chat with me.

I asked him what he wanted to do about the Prius situation. He said that we should really talk about that in private so that Kim didn't hear the discussion.

Then he said, "By the way, have you seen the rash on my dick? It's getting really bad."

Kim had been very quiet up until this point (I thought she'd hung up) but she burst out laughing after that. He's such a douche sometimes.

I took my kids shopping to my new favoritest stores in the whole world. One is Plato's Closet and the other is called Turnaround. They have brand name clothing that has been gently used for very, very cheap prices. (Thank you Dena for showing me the light.) The clothes are mostly for teens but I did pick up some shorts for my husband. I said it's a great place to fuel my desire to lose some weight (I could have spent a fortune in both).

I did however find 5 shirts that are hideously inappropriate for young girls. They are:

1. I Like to Swing
2. Your Boyfriend is a Good Kisser
3. My Boyfriend Told Me To Be More Lovable. I Now Have Two Boyfriends.
4. Stop Staring at my Chest
5. MILF in Training.

Hope you all have a great day. I've got the rest of the family packing and shopping to do before we head out tomorrow.