Don't you wish...

...that on days you get to sleep in NOTHING would bother you to wake you up?

...that your children would listen to you instead of suffering the consequences?

...Rob and Amber hadn't been kicked off the Amazing Race as I now am too bored to watch it?

...that Sanjaya would get kicked off AI this week?

...that you never had to even own a pair of "fat pants"?

...that people wouldn't harass you to death about stuff you aren't going to help them with?

...everyone could write the wittiest blog posts daily instead of coming up with drivel like this?

...your girlfriend was hot like me?