What color is my underwear?

I have been watching way too much Spongebob. My son is addicted and it always seems to be in the back of my mind. We had DVR'd the Spongebob Movie and my son watched it like every day for 2 weeks. Do you have any idea how NOT sad I was when his little buddy who was over accidently deleted it? Hell I might have even danced.

Did you know that when you have the house that everyone wants to come hang out at your grocery bill will be astronomical? Seriously. It's not even the great quantities of milk and juice that I'm going through. I had to stop buying water bottles as well as I only like them for "grab and go" and I was finding them all over my damn house. Kids can eat some serious quantities of food. They also never seem to be able to drink from the same cup more than once. Can you tell I'm tired of having kids over?

I'm going to go prepare for my day. I have nothing planned. It's supposed to be hot. I'm burned out on summer already can ya tell? Thank goodness two of them go back in two weeks. Damn though, I have to go school supply shopping. Sigh.

Last day

Today is the last day of school for my kiddos. My eldest gets out at 11 am (um, why send children to school for 2 hours?) and then I'm taking her and a couple of friends to see Evan Almighty. This is like a mini graduation party since they are moving on to middle school next year (my daughter couldn't care less about it though as she already went to middle school in California and said the kids at her school were very "rough")

My middle child gets out at the normal time. I also have to go in at noon and help out with her ice cream party (you know if the words ice cream and party come together I'm so there)

My middle and youngest children only have two weeks of vacation before school starts. Don't pity the child. They had the whole month of May off remember? I am super excited too as they changed our track assignment and we are now better meshed with my oldest daughter's traditional middle school calendar. My oldest has a full summer (um what the hell am I going to do with a 12 year old all summer?)

Oh and for those of you that think I sit around and watch tv all day, I don't. Yesterday I fixed my broken washing machine all by myself bitches! Damn skippy. I googled that shit, came up with an answer and fixed it. Gots to love them internets.

Well I hope you all have a wonderful weekend full of fun, booze and debauchery. See ya!

It's a no-go

Well she turned the boy down. I am pretty happy about it but not so much happy about what I've been reading on her myspace.

Yes my 12 year old has one. The condition is that I have to be able to log in and read it at any time. And I do.

Last night I logged on to find out what was going on with the sitch. I will say that it pisses me off that my daughter hasn't talked to me about any of this. Come to find out that the boy only asked her out because a friend of hers told him to. This same friend also told my daughter to say no to the boy. Hello psycho 6th graders!

Then I come across a conversation with this same girl in which she gives my daughter shit saying she's probably told her "mommy" everything.

Let me tell you this. If my daughter stops talking to me about her life because some sick and twisted kid with a mom who doesn't give a shit is giving her grief, all bets are off. I will fuck with that kid and let her know what a twat I think she is.

I'll do it too. When some other girl messed with my daughter I sent all kinds of sappy cards to a boy she liked from her. She still doesn't know what happened.

Girls are bitches but sadly for these little ones, I've got many years of bitch ass experience on them. And I'm not afraid to use it.

Not ready for this

Picture this:

12 year old daughter

myspace

boy in her class

will you go out with me?


OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm in hell.

Cash, Ass or Gas

Why is it every time I fill up my god loving mom mobile, within 24 hours, but usually the same damn day, gas prices go down?

Is there a damn elf that sits in the gas pump and just waits for me to swipe my card signaling the decline of gas prices?

Oh yeah, and to all ya'll who filled up today? You're fucking welcome.

Post 70

Here you have it.

I'm just not in the mood to blog right now. Not in the mood for much. Take care.

What to watch?

This is the time of year I both love and hate. Love it because all the shows are over (though I'm not sure I'm loving the Sopranos from last night) and I have what pitiful bit of life I lead back. Hate it because there's nothing to watch.

Thank god for Rob and Big and Reunited: The Real World Las Vegas!

This week will be a bit crazy. Swim lessons, PTA board meeting, Field trip to the zoo, field trip to the park (this one pisses me off. The field trip is from 9:30 to 3:30. I was told I could bring my son and was asked to drive. I said I'd drive and chaparone. The teacher now emails me and tells me no siblings. WTF am I supposed to do with my son from 9:30 to 3:30?)

We were thinking about going to Missouri on our two week break to visit some people but that looks like it's falling apart. I'm trying to convince everyone to go to the Black Hills of South Dakota now. I'm the only enthusiastic participant in that one though so who knows? Maybe I'll just go alone.

Hope you all have a rockin week.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH

Last night went very well. Food was good. No Slick, there's no dip left. Everyone had fun playing the Wii.

Last night went very well until my middle child got into a top cabinet to get a pencil. Getting said pencil knocked, unbeknownst to anyone, a bottle of fabric paint onto the floor. Said fabric paint fell right in front of two four year olds. These four year olds took the fabric paint into the bathroom where my son apparently proceeded to paint himself ALL OVER.

After the screaming subsided (this was more from having red fabric paint all over the living room carpet than from having a red boy) the boys told us that my son's friend had painted my son even though my son told him not to. Both boys copped to this same story. So riddle me this Batman...why did my son's friend have NOT ONE MOTHERHUMPING DROP OF PAINT ON HIM?

Friends left. Bath was given. Took over 30 mins and half a bottle of Bath and Body Works coconut body scrub to get all the paint off my child. Then it was bedtime.

Bedtime is the best time of day. It means that I now get to go to bed as well, if I choose. Last night I chose to stay up and watch t.v. with the hubby until midnight. Not too smart but not so bad as I don't have to wake up until 8 to take my girls to school. Not so bad unless my darling 9 year old, who has been a horrible pain in the ass to put to bed since school started back up, decides to wake me up at 2.

I go thorough an hour of "Mommy, I'm scared. The dog's barking at something." "Mommy, my throat feels tight. I can't breath" (to this I replied "then get a fucking drink of water" I'm such a good mom) "Mommy I think there's bad people in the house who might kill us (to this I told her "the only person in the house who's going to kill you will be me if you don't go to sleep") She finally settled down at the end of our bed and spent the next hour tossing and turning until she was in a ball at the bottom of my feel.

I am tired this morning. I think I got like negative sleep, my legs hurt from sleeping in a super tight fetal position, and I'm just pissed off because really I hate being woken up in the middle of the night. It's going to be a fun day.

Friends, Food and Fun

While we were on vacation, some new friends of ours took care of our dog and cat (oh and fish). I got them a gift card as a thanks but tonight we are also having them over for dinner. Here's the menu:

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Hot-Artichoke-and-Spinach-Dip-II/Detail.aspx for starters
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Barbecue-Beef-Cups/Detail.aspx For the kids
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Burrito-Pie/Detail.aspx Main dish
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Avocado-and-Tomato-Salad/Detail.aspx for color and lightness
and
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Pecan-Pie-V/Detail.aspx Which is, hands down the best pecan pie I've ever had.

Of course today I have to work field day for both girls and take the boy to swim lessons. Not really sure when I'm making everything. The dip is done so maybe I'll just load them up on booze and dip when they get here and cook and talk at the same time? It's a thought.

Nothing really going on here. Just winding down the school year here to immediately get ready for the next one (track system is weird). I'm off to start my day. Wish me luck. Hope you all have a wonderful day too.

I can spell!

W -icked was WONDERFUL! My kids loved it too!
E -ver take 5 kids to the lake? We did. Had a blast.
E -nd of the year countdown begins.
K -ids go back to school today for the last three weeks.
E -ver notice how fast time flys when you're really having fun?
N -ala? Chloe? What should we name our brand new baby kitten?
D -on't ever do a stupid blogpost like this!

Random Goodness

I love the fact that my oldest child has taken it upon herself to do the dishes and clean the kitchen every night. This inevitably means I can drink my coffee without the self-imposed torture. However, how on Earth does she use so much dish soap? In three nights of doing this she's managed to use 2/3rds of the bottle. WTF?

My favorite show is back on t.v. I am beyond thrilled. Yes I know that at 32 I am way too old to watch MTV. But I don't care. My favorite show can be found here. They say you are supposed to laugh 15 times a day. I do that just watching this show (or Scrubs)

My oldest child was found this morning sleeping in her closet. Some of you might remember back in March I bought her a new bed. What gives with this child? The closet? My husband had a fun time singing "Trapped" by R. Kelly this am though.

This is perhaps one of the most interesting videos I've seen in a long time. I've been guilty of indulging in some of it. What's your take? Obesity Video

Have a great weekend everyone!